Secret 10 - 5/9/10

Dear mom,

Happy Mother's Day. I'm really upset that I couldn't spend the day with you so I thought about leaving you a little post here instead. I want you to know that I love you so much. I really loved the talk that we had on the ride back to school. I feel like you have given us the opportunity to learn and grow together. I don't want anything to ever change our relationship, and I hope you know that. It can only get stronger from here. I admire you, mom, and you've accomplished so much. I can only hope that I will grow up to be half of the person that you are someday. You really are amazing. I have a secret for you. When I was a little girl I used to consider you my hero. I still do today. I love you.

Love,

Deanie

A little something extra...

After I just finished typing my last post and had logged off of my blog my friend came into the room and handed me a letter. It is from one of my best friends from home. It's weird how you can be thinking or talking about one thing and then something happens that is directly connected to it. That makes me so happy :) it makes me feel like there is a higher power watching out over all of us and taking part in our lives.

Secret 9 - 4/4/10

This secret made me smile because it reminds me of the relationship I have with all of my best friends from home. We all became close our junior year of high school. We lived, breathed, and ate each other. Okay, I know that sounds kind of gross but we literally did everything together. We always go on adventures together. Some of my favorite memories are the ones of us driving around town at night because there was nothing else to do. We find a confidence in ourselves when we are together. We bring out the best in each other because we can do or say anything and still be best friends at the end of the day. My friends are my happiness. They are my home. They are my life. I wouldn't trade them for the world. I love you guys.

Secret 8 - 4/4/10

One of my friends passed away ten days ago. It was really hard to come back to school and try to find normalcy. We all wished that we could have a few more days to grieve. When we got back to school on Monday we had three whole days of canceled classes due to the flooding after the rain. I know that this was a sign. I believe that it was his way of telling all of his friends that he is still watching over us. For anyone who is going through a hard time out there, this is my sign to you.

Secret 7 - 4/4/10

I can also relate to this secret a lot because I was searching for happiness for a long time. Leaving for school was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I am so close with my family that a long time after I left I regretted my decision to leave. I was so miserable and heart broken being away from home. I blamed my location, the people around me, anything to not take responsibility for myself. Then one day I decided that enough was enough. Either I was going to make positive changes in my situation or I was going to transfer to a school closer to home. After multiple journal entries and two years of contemplation I decided to let down my guard and enjoy myself. This semester is the happiest I have been since I graduated high school in 2007. It took some time but I finally figured out that I had control of my life and my happiness the entire time. I'm not keeping up as many walls and I am putting myself out there more and more each day. I am so thankful for this realization and I cannot be grateful enough for this change. I can finally, honestly say that I am happy.

Secret 6 4/4/10

The hardest thing that I've ever had to go through was losing one of my best friends. We drifted apart when I left for college. It really hurt to lose someone that I was that close to and someone who I had considered that great a friend. I dwelled on our relationship for a really long time. I still think about it to this day. I always wondered what I could have done differently. Was it my fault? Should I have said something? There were so many times that I wanted to contact them. After years of regret it dawned on me, to quote Marilyn Monroe, that "sometimes good things fall apart so that better things can fall together." Even though I think about our relationship a lot I have realized that the experience has made me who I am today. I know how to handle future relationships and I've learned who the people are that really matter to me. Although I am still disappointed I've started to allow myself to move on.

Secret 5 - 4/4/10

This secret made me stop and think about my life, my experiences, my relationships with others. My favorite part about those relationships are the silly or crazy times we share together. In our "absurdity" we are more true to ourselves then at any other moment. To be able to share that absurdity with someone else is truly amazing. That is when I feel most comfortable. Because it means that people love me for me and not the person I have to try to be. I constantly try to please others but as I'm growing up I'm realizing how important it is to be yourself. I know that sounds cliche` but I really believe that you can't help anyone else before you help yourself. These moments of absurdity define my life and I wouldn't trade them for the world. They are some of my happiest memories.

Secret 4 - 2/15/10

I felt like this post card went hand in hand with the earlier secret on British accents. My friends and I always joke around about being awkward. A lot of times we do things that would ever only entertain the four of us. But that’s a bond that we all share. Sometimes the most awkward moments create the best memories. I think it’s better to embrace all of those silly moments. I’m not going to lie, I can definitely be an awkward person at times. But it’s also funny to make things awkward on purpose to see how other people will react. Whether it is a bad or good reaction, I’m still the one laughing in the end.

Secret 3 - 2/15/10

I love being ridiculously silly even if I’m only amusing myself. A lot of times I will say things just because I think they are funny. Sometimes other people laugh and other time they don’t, but I don’t really care as long as I’m the one laughing. I remember one time I was at the mall with three of my best friends. We thought it would be funny to walk around holding hands and pretending that we had British accents. It was so funny to see everyone’s reactions. Some people thought we were crazy, other people laughed, some people even stopped to talk to us! Ever since then we like to put on British accents when we go out in public. It’s different every time and it never stops getting funny. I wonder if anyone ever believes us…

Secret 2 - 2/15/10

I read this secret a few months ago, and only now is it really starting to hit me. This card reminds me a lot about my friend Jared. He passed away two months ago. Jared was the type of person who always had a smile on his face. He was the life of the party and anytime he walked into a room other people couldn’t help but reflect that smile and enthusiasm. Even though Jared was only 20 when he died, he lived his life more fully than any other person I know. In those 20 years he accomplished a life time of greatness. He was so excited about everything and entirely passionate about life. After Jared passed away I felt like it was a really big wake up call. More so now, than ever before, I want to love and appreciate every single day of my life. We all have our ups and downs but there is so much more to be grateful for; our lives, being healthy, having our friends and family be healthy. The fact that some of us have loving families, friends, and strong bonds. Getting an education. When I reflect back on everything up to this point I realize that there’s not much more I can really ask for. Jared put passion into everything that he did and it makes me sad to see that other people don’t have that same excitement for life. If Jared were here today he would be taking in everything and continuing to live his life to the fullest. I know that we all lead different lives and experience different things but at the end of the day, it is so important to appreciate and focus on the good stuff instead of the bad. “Maybe life is about stringing together the little things.” Life is such a beautiful thing when we allow it to be. I love you Jared <3. Forever in my heart 3/26/10

Secret 1 - 2/10/10

I love this secret because it really is true. I know that in the face of a hard day, week, month, year, even decade, we feel like nothing is going right and that we can’t seem to change anything. It’s like we’re stuck. I’ve had those moments where I feel worthless and like I’m not good enough for anyone or anything. But deep down, I know that’s not true. We may feel inadequate at times but we all have so much potential to offer to ourselves, those around us, even the world. We just need to find the strength to pick ourselves up, continue on, and move forward with our lives. I posted this card as a little pick me up for both myself and anyone else who needs it. Sometimes we have to create our own signs and magic. In doing so, we create our own strength. I hope this helps.

Favorite Secrets

While I was searching for other people's favorite secrets I came across this blog post.

"True story: I write all my secrets on tiny pieces of paper, and throw them all around the city. And if someone ever reads them, then at least some other person on this planet knows the few things that I'll never tell anyone else. It's a burden off my shoulders."

I love this because their secrets connect people too. It's a relief for them and a gift for someone else. I hope to come across a secret one day. One time when I bought a stress relief book there was a business card inside for a support group. I have the card on my desk to this day. I feel like it was the universes way of saying it cares.

A Thank You to Frank Warren

Post Secret is basically the coolest blog that I have ever followed. I know that is a heavy title, but Post Secret offers an entirely different world to its viewers. When I read the secrets I feel like I can relate to so many people out there. It's an indescribable feeling to know that I am not alone in the world. A lot of times I share the very same secrets with the people who have sent in post cards. Other times I feel like I'm being let into someone else’s life that I never knew existed. Frank’s blog gives us the opportunity to be honest with ourselves and experience our emotions in a way that we have never experience before. I am honestly thankful that people are comfortable enough to share their secrets and their lives with strangers that they don’t even know, like me. Post Secret has helped me get through many of the hard times and bad days that we go through every so often. It’s a nice way for me to escape from the chaos, sit back, and feel something new and different. I could go on and on but it is literally impossible for me to describe how much Frank Warren’s blog means to me. Words don’t cover it.